Cured?

Today was productive, and busy. I woke up at 10am. Which to some of you I understand that's extremely late, but for those who think that's extremely late, you don't work until midnight. :P

Because of the 7pm to 3am shifts that I worked previously, I had been sleeping in until noon. Well, now that I'm back on 3pm-11pm shifts, I've still been sleeping in until noon, and that's not good. So, I'm forcing myself to wake up at 10am. Which, today I was successful and got a lot done. I went to the pool. That seemed pointless. The water was cold and by the time I got out there it got cloudy. But whatever. Then I came home, realized I needed some groceries, went and bought some groceries, came home and cooked, then went to work.

Work was busy as hell too. Probably the busiest shift I've had since being out. I made 6 traffic stops (one of which turned into a fleeing and eluding. Unfortunately, we're not aloud to go into pursuit for merely a traffic infraction, so I had to disengage. That sucked.). I had an arrest right at the beginning of my shift (drinking and driving, at 3pm, go figure). I had 4 dispached calls. Yeah, I was busy.

I saw Kirt today (tonight). I had a bit of venting time with him. Since he was my FTO for 3 weeks, he had the priviledge :) to get to know me pretty well, professionally and somewhat personally. Professionally he kind of knows where I stand and my style on how I do things. Yeah, I'm still learning what my boundaries are on my discretion, and figuring out that style, but he and I have had talks and he knows how I think, for the most part. Anyway, I got complained on by a citizen that I had stopped yesterday. I stopped him for a headlight violation (driver's side headlight was out at night). Typically I don't write tickets for that but he talked his way into it. It's a long story of what happened, but in the end, I decided he deserved a citation and so that's what I did. Well, the guy went to the station immediately after I wrote the citation and complained on me. Boohoo, I didn't really care. But, I ended up getting talked to about it today. I wasn't in trouble of course, because the decision to write a ticket or not is my choice and the department doesn't regulate that (and it's a court issue), but I was told without being straight out told, I shouldn't have written the ticket. Well, that kind of bothered me and so I spoke with Kirt about this and he said the ticket was good and I had every right to do it. He said that he's written those types of tickets before and he thought what I did was fine. Anyway. It's a long story and I was a bit upset by this and venting to Kirt helped.

I'm going off on a tangent... The title of this post is based on Kirt (yeah, again, I promise it's good though). When I saw him today I didn't think of him in a sexual way. I usually don't when I see him at work. Now, when we spend long periods of time together in a car and flirting starts to happen, yeah... I might look at him that way. But, that probably will never happen again (spending long periods of time in a car together). I've realized that most of the time when I'm really struggling with my morals isn't when he's around. It's when he's not around and I let my mind entertain itself with thoughts about him. Make sense? So, I think this can easily be cured. I just won't think about him outside of work. I'll keep myself busy and go out and just do my thing.

Y'all are probably thinking 'Duh...'. But whatever. Sometimes I just don't work that great with myself.

Guy from the bar called me again today and left a message, asking me to join him on a dinner date. This surprised me. I called him back and straight out said 'I'm sorry, I was under the impression that you just wanted booty and I told you I wasn't interested'. He said that I'm the only one he knows in the Kansas City area outside of work and would like to go out to dinner with me because he liked the conversation we had at the bar. I must admit, I did have good conversation with him. He contracts with the military, and will be going to Iraq shortly to do whatever it is that he does. Yeah, I can't quite remember the exact job he does because I was a tad drunk at this time. So, I said yes. Maybe that wasn't the smartest choice, but, I do want to get my mind off Kirt and I don't plan on sleeping with the guy. He can just buy me dinner. :) Lord knows I need it, I am having major financial issues at the present moment so I'll take food where I can get it.

I'll let you know how that turns out.

I'm absolutely exhausted today. I wasn't all that sore after working out last night, but after this busy as hell shift, I did NOT want to work out. However, I was feeling the beginnings of stress overcome me after work (I'm stressed about hte financial struggle) so I decided to work out. I only ran a little over a mile today. SO was not feelin it. But hey, at least I went. Matt ended up getting a really late report, so I didn't run with him. But, I figured I'll just run tomorrow to make up for my shitty run today.

Alright, long post, I'm out!

X moralizedxcriminal X