With as much working as I've been doing, I forgot it was the 4th today. Well, I knew it was the 4th because of the special assignment I have for work today, but I forgot it was a holiday. I forgot people like to set off fireworks and have all sorts of fun. I remember back when Lawrence didn't have a city ordinance against fireworks. It use to be tradition to buy fireworks and set them off on the driveway. But, we can't do that anymore. I don't think there's any city around here that allows it. You can in the country I guess, but I don't live in the country...
Anyway, so I work tonight. For how long I do not know. I'm sure I'll have fun. I won't be supervised by an FTO and be all stressed out. I'll be with one of the other female officers. It'll be fun.
So... First real day with my FTO was yesterday. Wow. He is not only the hardest, he's intimidating. I know he's doing it on purpose (or maybe he's just like that, I don't know) but wow. He had something (negative) to say about everything I did, and I just felt like a failure. I became nervous and screwed up the smallest things. However, when I read my DOR (Daily Observation Report), I did suprisingly well. I also found out he researched me. I'm talkin, googled me, searched me in the local newspaper, everything. He found a quote from me when I was 15 years old. He quoted it to me and I had no clue what he was talking about. I was like, woah dude. He tells me that everything I've said and done he knows about. Hm. So, I researched him this morning. He he he.
I found out his full name, date of birth, (so in essence his age, which he wouldn't tell me. He's 35) place of birth (which is in Kentucky, explains the southern accent), found out he has 2 younger brothers who are married, he has an aunt and 2 uncles from his dad's side. Oh yes. I found out quite a lot.
Nothing that really matters though lol. Oh well. I figured if he could search me like that, I could search him.
One thing I like about my FTO is he wears his uniform just like mine. He doesn't put his stars on there, which signify how long he's worked as a cop. He doesn't put his 'master officer' badge on there, since he's an MPO (master patrol officer). He doesn't put his little stripes on there that show he's well educated and what not. He just wears it like me. He also will introduce me to people as his partner or he would say 'we're short on cars so we're pairing up today'. I like that. He's not pointing me out as the rookie and it makes me feel much more at ease. All the other FTOs have done that but him. Or the FTO won't point it out at all but people catch up on it. Not this one.
But, he's still freakin hard. This is gonna be a long 3 weeks... Educational, yes. But long.
Anyway. I wanted to say thank you for all the nice comments left on my last post. Sometimes something will remind me of my past and I need to vent. I'm pretty open about it, because I think by not being open won't help me or anybody else. Maybe my story will help someone else out. You never know. Yeah, I still struggle with it. A lot. But it's my life and I have to deal with it. I get that. It's what I have to do to survive. Otherwise I'll just go insane. So anyway, thank you.
If only my FTO found this blog. He'd learn a lot more than he'd want to...
X moralizedxcriminal X
Anyway, so I work tonight. For how long I do not know. I'm sure I'll have fun. I won't be supervised by an FTO and be all stressed out. I'll be with one of the other female officers. It'll be fun.
So... First real day with my FTO was yesterday. Wow. He is not only the hardest, he's intimidating. I know he's doing it on purpose (or maybe he's just like that, I don't know) but wow. He had something (negative) to say about everything I did, and I just felt like a failure. I became nervous and screwed up the smallest things. However, when I read my DOR (Daily Observation Report), I did suprisingly well. I also found out he researched me. I'm talkin, googled me, searched me in the local newspaper, everything. He found a quote from me when I was 15 years old. He quoted it to me and I had no clue what he was talking about. I was like, woah dude. He tells me that everything I've said and done he knows about. Hm. So, I researched him this morning. He he he.
I found out his full name, date of birth, (so in essence his age, which he wouldn't tell me. He's 35) place of birth (which is in Kentucky, explains the southern accent), found out he has 2 younger brothers who are married, he has an aunt and 2 uncles from his dad's side. Oh yes. I found out quite a lot.
Nothing that really matters though lol. Oh well. I figured if he could search me like that, I could search him.
One thing I like about my FTO is he wears his uniform just like mine. He doesn't put his stars on there, which signify how long he's worked as a cop. He doesn't put his 'master officer' badge on there, since he's an MPO (master patrol officer). He doesn't put his little stripes on there that show he's well educated and what not. He just wears it like me. He also will introduce me to people as his partner or he would say 'we're short on cars so we're pairing up today'. I like that. He's not pointing me out as the rookie and it makes me feel much more at ease. All the other FTOs have done that but him. Or the FTO won't point it out at all but people catch up on it. Not this one.
But, he's still freakin hard. This is gonna be a long 3 weeks... Educational, yes. But long.
Anyway. I wanted to say thank you for all the nice comments left on my last post. Sometimes something will remind me of my past and I need to vent. I'm pretty open about it, because I think by not being open won't help me or anybody else. Maybe my story will help someone else out. You never know. Yeah, I still struggle with it. A lot. But it's my life and I have to deal with it. I get that. It's what I have to do to survive. Otherwise I'll just go insane. So anyway, thank you.
If only my FTO found this blog. He'd learn a lot more than he'd want to...
X moralizedxcriminal X
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3 comments:
Your FTO may know about it....but let's hope not.
I don't know if it'd impress him or piss him off, but you could always ask him, "So did you like growing up in Kentucky?" and throw him off. Then he'd know you researched HIM. Wouldn't that be the makings of a good detective?
I know what you mean about a trigger that makes you ruminate about the past. It's good to vent once in a while. You sound better today, in spite of a rough first day with the new FTO.
Here's some good news that happened today: My neighbor had a momma duck and 3 babies in her swimming pool. My son and I trapped her and the babies, put them in a dog carrier and relocated them to a protected reservoir that's close by. It was a good feeling watching them swim off in their new and proper home!
Sometimes it's the little things that make me feel the best.
jojo- he probably doesn't. i keep my department's name and my name off of here, that way it won't pop up on google. and if he does, whatever. it's my life. if he wants to know that much about it, fine read it. my thoughts. my opinions. my life. im not talking about any serious cases or law enforcement sensitive information, so therefore im not violating any of our rules. so there! lol
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