What It Can Do

People that know me know that I am a christian. I'm not your role-model christian, however. I make mistakes, probably more than a lot of people. But, I am a Christ-Believer and Follower.

Again, I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes. I make mistakes. I'm still learning and I'm still trying.

It has been a while since I've been to church. A lot of it has to do with my lack of motivation in finding a church that I really like, and holding myself accountable to the laws of my beliefs. Yes, I'm admitting that lately I have been avoiding holding myself accountable so I can feel better in doing what I please and sin. I quickly learned how well that does not work for me and I probably need to straighten my life out a bit, again. It's amazing that when I try to do things my way and not God's way, how screwed up my life starts becoming.

So, a couple weeks ago, my Phase I FTO and I were talking about church and God. A touchy topic amongst coworkers, but I'm such an open-minded girl, I'm easy to talk to about touchy subjects such as those. Plus, it helped that both my FTO and I are christians. So, we're talking about his church and he tells me it's one of the largest churches in the Kansas City Metro. It's the United Methodist Church of the Resurrection. Now, I'm a Baptist. But lately I've been finding out that I just don't really agree with some of the things the baptist church has to say. I'm totally against the discrimination of gays/lesbians. I don't necessarily think it's a sin. Now, that wasn't a statement to open up a debate, it's just how I feel. What I really didn't like about my church (First Family *southern baptist* in Overland Park) is that I felt like they had a tendancy to judge harshly those types of people and I totally disagree with it and again, I can go on forever about that. But that's not what this entry is about so that's where I'll leave that. Anyway, my FTO tells me about how liberal the methodist church is and how I should probably check it out. So, two Sundays ago, I did.

I enjoyed the first time I went so I decided to go again today. Today the sermon spoke so closely to my heart I just felt like this was the place I needed to be. I understand the pastors, I feel like they're genuine, no matter how large the church is. I don't feel as if they're playing for a live audience or a TV audience. I feel as if they are true christians just trying to get the message out. Also, I felt God there. And it's hard to explain to those who don't believe, but there is this presence that is just so much larger than you and the entire area you're in. It's a presence of love, emotion, happiness, joy, and you just know. It's God. And that's what I felt today. It's an amazing feeling, especially when you know He's talking to you. Again, words just cannot explain it. But, I've got a huge jolt of God-powered energy that I'm ready to run with. It's amazing.

Today at work was very stressful and even after it was all said and done, I felt God with me. The whole time. And I no longer felt alone in this. I'm just ready to do what He wants now, and not what I want. Because let me tell you, it just does not work out when I try and plan it, but it always seems to work out when God takes over....

It's amazing what it can do when you pay God a little more attention...

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